Fair Play Facts

  Whatever happened to " going on " after a death? Remembering days gone by, my thoughts go to growing up and my family would embrace the passing, not without sorrow but we always kept that soul close to home, never forgetting the experiences we had. Sometime between then and now, it seems death has become a time to "move on" and at some point, some feel the need to remind survivors that their child, spouse, friend, is in a better place. Is it really a time to move on? Does it matter that they are in a better place?  This topic is a big annoyance to many who have experienced loss and I am one of them. Everyone expects that after a loss you will come out of it unscathed, the old you will not change, you will get over this quick and the thought that they are in a better place will help you move on. All death does is change everything, if some want to keep the memory alive, it is their choice. When we "move on", we go forward and leave everything behind us. W...

  It has been a long time since I have used the word dating yet  through the urging of family and friends, (who don't want me to become an old maid), I considered and have dated  recently, yet there is something missing.  Back when I dated  years before marriage, it was fun! There where no questions on what the game plan was, the ultimate goal was apparent!! When the rhythm was right, it was the greatest experience and when the man I dated seemed to be off course, the dating stopped. The ultimate goal was a committed relationship, for both sides. Be it through marriage or just a commitment. When did this change? I now hear statements and words like companionship, friends with bene's, we do splits, I don't like to travel, this is who I am and i'll never change...Ugh the chaos!!  Why does anyone date after marriage or as we age?? Is it only about companionship to date ? What is the point, get a pet? If the other party is now established in a non relationshi...

  ~ All God's angels come to us disguised ~                                                              James Russel Lowell    A beautiful sentiment yet is it really true? Are angels  there yet we just can't see them? If angels are here to guide us, why the concealment? Do angels reveal themselves to those they trust or is their existence to remain a mystery.  So much to ponder when you actually think about it. Just like when I started noticing angels hovering over my house. These beautiful cloud formations that seemed to be watching me for weeks. These angels where clearly there for a reason, which it turned out the reason was the upcoming homicide of my husband. The angels seemed to be protecting me, watching me before and after his death. Over the next 5 years my angels made appearance many times and mos...

Recently, I was reminded of the fearful world I once lived in, when the potential buyer of my home backed out because a resident gave her negative information on the management.  A home that would give her everything she was asking for, yet she allowed one person create fear. This brought me back several years ago, when I had to make a choice to stay in my home of 23 years or go. I knew I was put on a path yet, unsure of what was going on.  I learned quite easily that I must trust God on this one. I had no clue what I was doing, I had no idea where I was going and if I would even sell my home. So I gave the fear to God and expressed everything I loved about my life and everything I would miss. I was also sure to mention things that I may like to happen but was not really sure. My deal was that if the home sold in 2 months then I would go, which it sold in a day and I was on my way to the unknown. To meet new people, to learn a new way. Always trusting, patient and excepting of...

When I look back at my life before Franks homicide,  I realize that almost everything from my past, schooling, jobs, relationships, was a stepping stone, strengthening my survival instincts for what would be the next adventure in my life. I never expected to go from an interior designer to what I am now, which is very hard to put into words yet, I think advocate, corruption fighter, would describe it best. As I proceeded through the loss of someone I loved dearly and excepted my new path into the unknown, my survival instincts changed.  No longer did that nice paying job mean anything, the concern of holiday's or test results or even what vacation I would go on...it all dissipated. I knew, my soul knew, that I had to embrace this or one day I would have to do it again. We all must realize that change for good or bad is there for us to learn from. Do it right or  do it over!    With survival mode on, my past experiences and knowledge flew into the forefront ...